Balancing Act

Hello there. How are you? 

It has been somewhat a slow start for me. I am good with it. Other than the past January became the longest month ever, February is promising to be way short. 

Birth month ko na rin. I am having some birthday blues lately. Ok lang. Sanay na ang bakla. What do I exactly mean by birthday blues? For me, yung feeling na pagkabagot, pagkawala ng gana. You question your existence and you ask yourself, bakit hindi ako na lang ako naging Miss Universe? Bakit si Oprah pa rin ang number 1 source ko for guide on existential living, haha.

This year. I just want to take it slow and grow. I will celebrate small wins and focus on the personal. I will make small personal projects and enjoy the process. 

Tamang tama, may pa 'enabling factor' din ang opisina kase yung ‘competency fund’ nagincrease at linawakan ang scope. Puwede na daw pang gym, pilates, yoga, dance at mga hobby classes. Talk about from Ikebana to pottery haha. Puwede din pang pang attend ng personality development to as simple as buying tickets for a musical theater. Bahala ka na. May guideline naman. Bawal lang gamitin pang surgery :) at ipang gamit sa iba.  Kaya hayun, best in purchase ako ng paunang libro the moment the memo was sent to us. Nakakatulong na rin kahit papaano. 

Well, lately, the stress comes from aligning my intention to action. Minsan kase talaga Best in Katamaran. Hirap maghanap ng inspiration lately. There is no point in putting pressue to myself anymore. Most of the time, I overdo the expectations and I feel the fatigue thereafter. I always learn the hard way whenever I get excited too much on some personal stuff  and then I do not get to finish. The balancing act is harder than it seems but I do not have the choice but just to try and try. 

So what have I been up to lately? 

1. Doing a Marie Kondo feels in all aspects of life only to be told that Marie Kondo has not been doing her tidying up by herself lately. The general principles stay though. When I say Marie Kondo, simply ask, ‘does it spark joy?’. From toothbrush, toothpick to your digital files, 'do they spark joy?" Then keep them. It is a routine. Organizing makes it exciting but the process is patient. 

2. Screen time detox. For the love of God, I am trying hard in this category. I can’t help it. Ang cellphone at Internet pa rin ang pinakamurang libangan. To the point na nagupload na ako ng app to monitor my screen time. Again, this is a patient exercise. Will try again and again. Ilaban lang. 

3. In terms of improving myself. how to upskill and reskill. Hindi nagkulang ang mga officemates ko sa kakasuggest ng mga hobbies- mag wall climb daw ako, pilates, mag crochet, mag attend ng sewing class. Feeling ko, I need a serious hobby. Yung tipong puwede siyang maqualify as income generating kalaunan. Mag alaga kaya ako ulit ng halaman - for the 4th time haha. Puwedeng hobby ko na lang ang gumastos ng pera.  

4. Yesterday, I went to an eye exam. After almost two hours and several machines, the doctor said I am not a candidate for lasik/lasek due to my thin retina. The doctor recommends me another surgery but it is somehow just an option because when I get old, I may likely to have cataract surgery which is permanent. 

At first, I feel good about the information that I learned. Afterwards, I feel sad because it means i can only improve my eyesight by using eyeglass for now. I can only minimize the risk. That is why I feel my screen time detox is needed. 

In the next few weeks, punta ako kung saan saang clinic for a health check up consultation. Wala lang. Gusto ko lang malaman kung ano ang state of my physical health. Health is Wealth. Di ba nga meron akong, My Body is My Temple Project kineso. Kung madumi na pala dugo ko, paano na me? 

And this is what I miss most in the Philippines. I can conveniently go for a health check up here and there and I really take time. Feel na feel ko makinig sa mga doctor at may i take notes pa talaga ako nyan, I swear. Kinacareer ko ang consultation time and 'event' talaga sa akin ang mag pa health check up. Pero dito, best in baroque (?) English and I must admit parang may risk din ang between communication. Buti na lang yung eye check up ko may interpreter. 

So, hayan lang naman muna ang mga ganap. Let’s hope for the best dahil wala tayong choice.