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Being Enough

Inspired by this article, https://nosidebar.com/mediocre-life/ sent by bff Geng, who happens to be one of the many three people who knows my blog, haha. Here is my own version:

What if I do not live up to my own expectations, like what if I decide to just throw away my dream of being sociologist, and just be content as being an employee, rank and file? Not completing my long overdue graduate studies or perhaps enroll again and try and try, never mind I spend money, until I complete one? What if all this time of working out my career, there is nothing more to push for? What if I let it go and just rely on the faith and goodness of people who can help me get career breaks? Is this enough? 

What if I have a good boss whom I can stick to for the rest of my life? What if I cannot find one? Or is it just me who keeps on imposing these standards to myself? What exactly do I mean when I say good boss? What if I have a good boss?

What if I stop wondering, searching for bigger things, bigger …

Muni Munis of the Days.

1. Gosh, first time to write since February. Yes, I have been quite busy. Mostly work and catching up with friends. Minsan, naiisip ko pa rin ano kaya kung andoon pa rin ako sa Seoul. Marami din akong nasacrifice. Una, yung steady income ko. Pangalawa, yung convenience. Then I would think all the reasons why I left despite all the good things back there. Then I would feel better. I feel good because I know it is empowering, and it is going to be ok. I feel good because I am here and learning and growing and struggling. I love the struggle here. Ayoko naman magsalita ng tapos. Who knows I will fly out again, sooner than later. The Universe always finds ways to surprise you. Parang BDO. Char.

2. Ibang level ang summer weather lately. It's not just hot but it's so damn hot. Dagdag mo pa yung room ko na medyo kulob. A week ago, I couldn't take it anymore. Walang effect ang electric fan and it was not doing me any good. So I rushed to the mall and bought an aircon. Since walang…

Dear Me

Dear Me.
Barely a month after akong nakauwi from my overseas work, feeling ko all of a sudden ang dami kong time. I mean nawala yung routine ko at na didisrupt ang 'life systems' ko. Char. At medyo nabobore ako kahit alam kong puwede naman akong maging productive. At feeling ko naman productive din naman ko pero iba pa rin. 
I know this is what they call transition or adjustment. And I feel the fatigue. I feel the uncertainty it brings. To be fair, hindi naman ako nawala ng matagal and believe me, hindi naman ako nawala as in hindi nagpakita. Just imagine siguro yung iba na nawala ng matagal talaga tapos bumalik and what do they do and how do they feel when they begin again. 
Anyhow I am still adjusting to this new lifestyle. I find it flexible and you feel empowered kase you have all the time at your disposal. There is a promise to this. Siyempre you get tired, physically and mentally and you feel like a lone ranger. Ewan. Carry naman. Enjoy while supply lasts ika nga.
Dear M…

Honest to Goodness part 2

And so I arrived in my home city Manila after two years in Seoul. I could never have felt more at peace with myself. Gratitude as always.

Transition has started since that last Friday midnight. Everyday has been here and there -from catching up with friends, scheduling to catch up with my friends and family, updating my public records, to looking out an apartment. It can feel a bit tiring but I cannot complain.

Plus I get to start to work. I am still keeping my job only on a more local level. But this time I take the pleasure of not seeing my boss loitering somewhere and how demotivating she can become - and not to mention I can now spare myself from reminding how unfortunate I can be in my Seoul desk.  Disappointment has run through my veins and I could not bear it any longer if I still would stay there. So, this is the best set-up for now - away from her but credit goes to her, she worked hard to retain me, defended my new post before her boss. One of those rare moments where I felt…

Honest to Goodness

Kamusta naman at ilang araw na lang eexit na ako dito after two years of pure energy Mr. Gary V. Char. Eleven days na lang to be exact. Never along nagbilang ng ganito katindi. May mga post-it levels pa ako sa wall. To be fair lungkot, it has been excitement, sad, mixed emotions after all. Simulan natin sa mga feelings na yan. 
Lungkot. Siyempre naman kahit papaano napamahal na rin sa akin yung lugar, yung mga kasa kasama ko dito, yung mga everyday moments dito. It has all contributed to what are you becoming. It is still a process.
Noong tinanong ako kung ano ang mamimiss ko, number one talaga yung 'efficiency ng mga bagay bagay'. Napaka predictable at nakakadagdag talaga sa quality of life eh. Example na lang, prinocess ko kanina yung severance payment ko. Siyempre kumpleto naman yung documents na ibinigay ko tapos hayun, tapos na! Binigay sa akin yung parang claim stub ko. Parang point of no return ka na noon. Paglabas ko ng building, napa moment na lang ako. Ang sarap din ma…

Thank you 2017.

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Few days left of 2017. Where have all the time gone? Since I have a rather forgetful memory, I look back at my Instagram and rekindle the fondest of them all in 2017.

1. Food poison. Never thought there could be worse. I had to bring myself into the hospital at 3 am. Due to language ineptness, para tuloy akong naging hayop as they were figuring out what was wrong. Yes, language goes a long way but I never took much interest. Dami kong opportunity to learn before but I just could not feel it. Why push? So when during emergency situation, it could even be stressful and you could really become second best to being a monkey.

Lesson Learned: Don't prepare your food if you are as lousy as me. And as after effect, I make sure I check the expiration date in the label. 

2. Japan. I travelled Japan twice this year and fell in love with everything Japanese again. All the more that I need to come back and stay a little bit longer next time. I always feel the 'wanderlust' if I spend ti…

At the bend

Let me tell you one thing. How easy was it then. I would always wish it would be weekend. For me to see you. Your presence could light up the whole class. You were different, mostly quiet, strange, but I imagined all the possible things. I was happy. We could be friends. And perhaps If I could get into your world and if you would let me. We would go to as many restaurants and review its food. How nice could it be when you would open up to me deeper things about yourself and I would listen. I knew I could stare your beautiful face the whole day. Funny how one person could give you that kind of joy. I did not know how I survived it. After you went away. Our roads diverged. There was no way where I could see you. I was content with watching you in social media. And I hope my likes would resonate far more than other likes. Everyday, there was this ritual. To see you and like you. And find your posts.  I knew it could get tiring. Because you are far away and there is no way we can meet. Th…