1. It gets busier each day. But I cannot ask for more. It pays the bill. It puts food on the table. Months after I returned from Seoul, I still feel the struggle but acceptance and peace of mind come in handy with big little help from my friends, family, and random kindness from strangers.

It has been a process but I have long crossed that Seoul episode. This 2018 is one of my better years. Even when there is no stability (which means no regular full time job) pero yung mga utang ko patapos ko naman ng bayaran. I am still be able to move around. Promise ko sa sarili ko na 'magpahinga' muna ako for 2018. Yung mga moments na chill ka lang. Hindi din naman nangyari. Yung  consultancy work ko, naging 'full time' din siya by nature. I cannot complain. I feel grateful.

2. I miss feeding my mind. It has always been a case of Me giving out, sharing out. I went to Jakarta last week to attend a leadership seminar. I must admit I am not really a fan of attending leadership confer…

What I Miss

1. Yung kumain ng masasarap na pagkain. Though relative naman ito. Hindi naman ibig sabihin masarap, expensive. Hindi naman ibig sabihin masarap, 'steak' agad. Pupunta ako sa Ma Mon Luk one of these days. Yung seafood in a bag sa Choobi Choobi, tama lang yung lasa. Yung mga lechon sa Cebu. Basta any lechon na galing doon. Hindi ko pa nga nalilibot ang Poblacion eh. I have not even gone to Legazpi and Salcedo markets on a Sunday! Bakit? Wala akong kasama eh! Ok lang kumain magisa, that is depende sa restoran na kakainin mo, eh ayoko naman mag barbecue sa Korean resto mag isa no! Yung isang bff ko sana na in five minutes puwede na kaming magkita, di ko alam, pag nagsasagest akong kumain at itry this and that, say sa Poblacion, na walking distance na nga lang eh, mas mabilis pa sa alas kuatro ang pagkulot ng mukha. Sino naman ang gaganahan doong magyaya! Ano, sa 7-11 na lang?

2. I miss travelling to the countryside. Yung amoy ng kape in the morning, amoy ng dagat, amoy ng mga dah…

Being Enough

Inspired by this article, sent by bff Geng, who happens to be one of the many three people who knows my blog, haha. Here is my own version:

What if I do not live up to my own expectations, like what if I decide to just throw away my dream of being sociologist, and just be content as being an employee, rank and file? Not completing my long overdue graduate studies or perhaps enroll again and try and try, never mind I spend money, until I complete one? What if all this time of working out my career, there is nothing more to push for? What if I let it go and just rely on the faith and goodness of people who can help me get career breaks? Is this enough? 

What if I have a good boss whom I can stick to for the rest of my life? What if I cannot find one? Or is it just me who keeps on imposing these standards to myself? What exactly do I mean when I say good boss? What if I have a good boss?

What if I stop wondering, searching for bigger things, bigger …

Muni Munis of the Days.

1. Gosh, first time to write since February. Yes, I have been quite busy. Mostly work and catching up with friends. Minsan, naiisip ko pa rin ano kaya kung andoon pa rin ako sa Seoul. Marami din akong nasacrifice. Una, yung steady income ko. Pangalawa, yung convenience. Then I would think all the reasons why I left despite all the good things back there. Then I would feel better. I feel good because I know it is empowering, and it is going to be ok. I feel good because I am here and learning and growing and struggling. I love the struggle here. Ayoko naman magsalita ng tapos. Who knows I will fly out again, sooner than later. The Universe always finds ways to surprise you. Parang BDO. Char.

2. Ibang level ang summer weather lately. It's not just hot but it's so damn hot. Dagdag mo pa yung room ko na medyo kulob. A week ago, I couldn't take it anymore. Walang effect ang electric fan and it was not doing me any good. So I rushed to the mall and bought an aircon. Since walang…

Dear Me

Dear Me.
Barely a month after akong nakauwi from my overseas work, feeling ko all of a sudden ang dami kong time. I mean nawala yung routine ko at na didisrupt ang 'life systems' ko. Char. At medyo nabobore ako kahit alam kong puwede naman akong maging productive. At feeling ko naman productive din naman ko pero iba pa rin. 
I know this is what they call transition or adjustment. And I feel the fatigue. I feel the uncertainty it brings. To be fair, hindi naman ako nawala ng matagal and believe me, hindi naman ako nawala as in hindi nagpakita. Just imagine siguro yung iba na nawala ng matagal talaga tapos bumalik and what do they do and how do they feel when they begin again. 
Anyhow I am still adjusting to this new lifestyle. I find it flexible and you feel empowered kase you have all the time at your disposal. There is a promise to this. Siyempre you get tired, physically and mentally and you feel like a lone ranger. Ewan. Carry naman. Enjoy while supply lasts ika nga.
Dear M…

Honest to Goodness part 2

And so I arrived in my home city Manila after two years in Seoul. I could never have felt more at peace with myself. Gratitude as always.

Transition has started since that last Friday midnight. Everyday has been here and there -from catching up with friends, scheduling to catch up with my friends and family, updating my public records, to looking out an apartment. It can feel a bit tiring but I cannot complain.

Plus I get to start to work. I am still keeping my job only on a more local level. But this time I take the pleasure of not seeing my boss loitering somewhere and how demotivating she can become - and not to mention I can now spare myself from reminding how unfortunate I can be in my Seoul desk.  Disappointment has run through my veins and I could not bear it any longer if I still would stay there. So, this is the best set-up for now - away from her but credit goes to her, she worked hard to retain me, defended my new post before her boss. One of those rare moments where I felt…

Honest to Goodness

Kamusta naman at ilang araw na lang eexit na ako dito after two years of pure energy Mr. Gary V. Char. Eleven days na lang to be exact. Never along nagbilang ng ganito katindi. May mga post-it levels pa ako sa wall. To be fair lungkot, it has been excitement, sad, mixed emotions after all. Simulan natin sa mga feelings na yan. 
Lungkot. Siyempre naman kahit papaano napamahal na rin sa akin yung lugar, yung mga kasa kasama ko dito, yung mga everyday moments dito. It has all contributed to what are you becoming. It is still a process.
Noong tinanong ako kung ano ang mamimiss ko, number one talaga yung 'efficiency ng mga bagay bagay'. Napaka predictable at nakakadagdag talaga sa quality of life eh. Example na lang, prinocess ko kanina yung severance payment ko. Siyempre kumpleto naman yung documents na ibinigay ko tapos hayun, tapos na! Binigay sa akin yung parang claim stub ko. Parang point of no return ka na noon. Paglabas ko ng building, napa moment na lang ako. Ang sarap din ma…