Entries

Entry No. 1

Natutuwa ako dahil this blog has been constant to me. It is like your reliable, old friend. Looking through the archives, I am amazed as to the number of entries. Every once in a while, I relish them. Most of the time, I'd say, 'what the hell was I writing?' It is a good reference. And it is my personal diary. 

I think this blog is ready. Ready to be transported into a wider audience. What do I mean? Sometime ago, I said if only I can promote my blog. But I know this blog is very personal, too personal to be shared. I have this idea that I just can make another one. And most of the content for the new blog will be inspired from this blog. The new blog is semi-autobiographical, educational but not too revealing and more lifestyle-driven. Shet, kung maka lifestyle. haha.  The new blog must be short (because no one really reads long form now) and partly a critique on the society, something that I miss writing about and I care about. I am even planning to have a pen name just to conceal my identity. I do not know when. Or probably this will just be another brewing concept. 

Yes, I can always have Instagram, Twitter, and FB. Please do not let me open a Tiktok account. I have enough social media to last a lifetime, please. But blogging/ writing - this is part of my DNA that I have missed for the longest time. 

Entry No. 2

Yesterday (Sept 2), I approached my boss to let her sign my compensatory time off or CTO (you work on weekend and you can use the time to offset some week days. I have three days now). 

At tuliro ang lola mo, confused and she even thought that I had already taken the CTO. She said sorry and then suddenly, she was complaining to me (subtle lang naman). That CEO asked her to do lots of administrative stuff and she even went home as late as 11 pm last time. And she has not found time to review the program documents. She began nearly breaking down. She was teary eyed. And I was comforting her even for just 5 minutes kase I did not want her to further cause a scene since everybody would notice her (small space in the office). Sabi ko sa kanya kung gusto niya uminom (typical Korean gesture), samahan ko. But she declined and she said I do not need to stay overtime in the office as long as my work is done. 

I sympathize with her. Pero inisip ko rin ano pinapagawa sa kanya that is making her stay late. Sabi niya pinapahanap daw siya ng cocktail bar at pinapahanap siya ng menu. Di na ako nagtanong pa ng iba. At some point, I felt somewhat it was her ego that is hurting. I have the impression that at her level, nakakareceive siya ng utos ng paghanap ng menu. I know I do not have the complete picture but I do not intend to know the details. 

Nafeel ko yung pagka vulnerability ni boss. But I think it is more on nasanay na siya kung ano meron. She has not really been growing in her position for the longest time. Pag 'disruptive tasks' medyo shookt na siya. Ang opisina naman namin is international not-for-profit. Hindi siya UN. It does not have the bureaucracy where you can conveniently confine yourself to a specific role. I work in Secretariat and it means to some extent, administrative tasks are part of the role.

Then minaritess ko siya sa isa naming officemate. Then my colleague said maybe she is stressed because of many ideas that are coming out lately from the CEO's office and one idea is the office restructuring. 

So, may usapang restructuring sa opisina. And yes, selfish as it may sound, I think about my pending promotion.  Baka maunsiyame na naman. And I am somewhat overreacting to the restructuring idea kase hindi na naman nagcoconsult. Usual top down na naman ang approach. And here I go again, overreaching kase tsismis pa lang naman. In many clear ways, I have a plan and I know how to proceed. Palinaw ng palinaw ang mga situation. Ideal sana bago pa man ang mga pagbabago ay mabigyan ako ng mga options. 

Then sabi ko, I need to upskill myself. Dapat multi talented ka na ngayon. Gusto ko tuloy maggantsilyo. Gusto ko magenrol ng bonsai class, flower arrangement. Gusto ko tuloy magkaroon ng ibang hobbies.

In this disruptive, post pandemic world, you need to be resilient with other life skills. And I so fail in that category. Think of it as safety nets lang. When I saw my boss, i wonder ano kaya other life skills niya. Kung may shocks sa opisina, what other skills she can offer to the other companies? Why is she not growing in her position? By this time, she should already be in other better international offices. Ang kampante na niya sa opisina namin. And I do not want that feeling. 

Entry No. 3

Ngayon pa lang gusto ko na tapusin ang 2022 :). Ayoko ma confine sa Gregorian Calendar char. Kung sabagay, iba iba naman ang fiscal year. I do not know, natatabangan ako this 2022. Stable naman siya, kulang lang sa aksyon. Something went wrong in Spring time. Parang di ko na bet magtravel for work and I miss traveling with friends and family.  I miss the nurturing environment. Ayoko ng magreklamo because there is a lot to be thankful for. In 2023, I will reclaim my love for travel. I somehow lost it few years back.