Mid Moment

It's national holiday on a Monday. I have some time to catch up with some personal stuff but it feels like I will just be lazying around, to be honest. Plus, the cloudy weather on an early Monday has not inspired me yet. Makapag blog na nga muna. 

Gosh. We are almost halfway this year. Kamusta naman ang mga moments natin sa life? Sana steady at healthy lang. The highlight of my first five months is my home visit. My first after two years. Nakakarecharge din ng feeling. I did not do much. Most of the time I stayed home, caught up with my mom, siblings, at makipagkulitan sa mga pamangkin. Dami ding life talks with them. Those are the better things to do. 

Probably, well not probably, but the best thing that happened to me was I realized that the picture is getting clearer now - that I will be retiring my life in my hometown and I have big responsibilities for my family to gel together. Thinking about it now, I get excited. I get excited by the prospects. But then there is this tempered moment that kailangan kong maghanda. And it is going to be a long way of preparation work. But need to start now. Must admit walang magmamanage doon ng mga family properties kung hindi ako, as if ang dami haha. Ang daming puwedeng iimprove. Ang daming unutilized. Kaso here I am away from them.  

So that is one of my realization. I know it is a challenge. Much as I get excited by the thought. Sometimes, I deny it to myself. Sometimes I feel i do not want to focus, probably because dami ko pang gustong gawin na iba. But I believe retiring at home is way clearer than I thought. At kung malinaw ang vision mo, mas mabilis ang pagplaplano at paggawa ng mga bagay bagay. 

Before I left for an out of town trip, the office announced a promotion and unfortunately, I was not a candidate. To be fair, the manual said that I need three years before I get promoted. But somehow I needed to express my concern to my directors and the news even reached to our CEO. I expressed my frustration na hindi man lang binilang yung years of experience ko before pandemic era. Wala naman silang magagawa. Puro lang paliwanagan and to be honest, not worth it pa para makapag argue. 

What is most important is that the office promised me a promotion next year because technically I am already eligible. Directors and even CEO assured me. And by schedule, that will have to be by May next year. Maraming hanasah ang reply ko, na appreciate ko naman yung process, pero in a sincere way, sinabi ko din sa kanila na 'I will expect it from the management'. It is as clear as day.

And yes, it is as clear as day. That means if nothing happens same time next year, I will definitely resign. More than the resignation, yung feeling mo na nailabas mo ang saloobin mo at malinaw ang mga bagay bagay at magaan sa loob mo. Iyan ang gusto ko. At proud moment ito sa akin. Minsan talaga kailangan mo lang mapakinggan. To be fair, walang drama. Na excite pa ako on the prospects on what's next. 

My bestie said, 'do you want it?, the promotion?' And this is the exciting part. My answer is 'I do not really know'. Doon na lang muna tayo sa preparation work.