1. Kamusta mga kaibigan, ok ba kayo riyan?! For two months now, Friday afternoon has been my off since flexible working time naman sa opisina. Pero napansin ko, medyo most of my Friday afternoon offs ay napupunta either sa meeting na nakalimutan kong iresched na kailangan ko mag extend sa office, pagbisita sa dentista, or just simply pagtambay lang sa coffeshop.
So, hindi ko nagagamit ang Friday afternoon offs ko sa pag Me-time ko. Kahapon nabuwisit lang ako. So sabi ko ok, starting today, let's plan out. Ang kaso is nakahalata yung boss namin na favorite offs ang Friday ng mga tao kaya halos walang tao pag Friday. So nagpalabas ng bagong order na maximum of two persons na lang muna mag o-off in a given day. Eh naunahan na rin ako ng mga officemates ko pag day off ng Friday. I am thinking at least in the next two months, mag Wednesday off na lang ako, para naman may break on the weekly routine. Let's see how it goes.
Pero more than that, it is actually on the thought of 'being mindful'. Para naman masyado akong 'flexible'. Since I arrived here, either work or 'flow' lang ako. 'Flow' means yung tetengga ka lang most of the time. Sabi ko carry lang naman kase covid tsaka magastos din. Pero kailangan ko din naman na mag put ng effort sa mga day offs ko. Sayang oras. Yung effort naman to be productively meaningful, kumbaga. To intentionally make something productive out of my day offs. Sabi ko hindi porque solo ako dito ay marami akong Me-time. The irony of it all.
2. Puro trabaho lang muna tayo at may mga panaka nakang effort na sana magbunga. I am learning Bahasa Indonesia every weekend kaya medyo preoccupied din, You may wonder why the hell I am learning Bahasa when I am here? First libre naman at online lang din. Second, gusto ko maging expat sa Bali. haha. On a more serious note, ASEAN Integration. So how about my Korean? I am self-learning. Learning language I must admit is a full time job for me. Feeling ko hindi na ako capable for learning a new language unless I go full time. Char. Sa office, I have to think in English. And after work, it has already become tiring for me to learn a new one. But I am taking it easy for now. My goal is to utilize what I already have and we can take it from there.
3. I mentioned earlier that hindi porque solo ako dito, marami akong Me Time. Na parang totoo nga kung tutuusin. Sometimes, I make a big deal of the little chores that drain up most of my mental energy. For example, cleaning the house, washing the dishes, this whole program of living alone. Nakakatamad ang mga gawaing bahay, I do not take joy out of it and doing it sometimes has become an obligation and I do not know why. God knows how hard I try. The next best thing is mag hire ng house cleaner. Yung Filipino house cleaner naman na pinakilala sa akin, Tuesday lang available.
The truth of it all - I feel so tamad. I am failing to convert my place into a good well-being space. Since I arrived, I have only considered this as a temporary residence. Wala nga akong maayos na kama until now. I feel I need to change this mindset even If I consider this as my temporary residence though. Slowly, I will convert this place into a place where I can truly consider as my happy nook.
4. Money. I do not have much and I do not intend to have much more than what I can handle. In exchnage, all I want is a little bit more to support my lifestyle and health. I cannot afford to go back when I 'unnecessary worry' about 'expenses'. At what level is my financial freedom now? I can manage but I am not debt-free. I am on payment schedule pero minsan naiinip ako na gusto ko ng bayaran lahat para matapos na. Confident naman ako gumastos kahit alam kong 500 php ang average per meal at yung kalbitang na 700 php na masarap pero alam ko mas masarap pa yung bulalo sa tagaytay. At alam kong 1,500 ang average haircut at yung pa massage is 2,000 php na parang Montalbo levels lang pero worth it. haha.
Well, nagpromise na that in the next five years, I am just going to spend ng walang pagiimbot, walang alinlangan at ng buong katapatan. I am just going to spend just as genuinely and responsibly as it is. Believe me hindi naman ako magastos. Wala naman akong bisyo. But let me execute this true financial freedom. It only means that If I am going to spend, I will spend judiciously and it's quality and worth it and I will not feel guilty about it. I am so over sa pagtitipid sa sarili ko, sa totoo lang. At alam ko naman na hindi naman ako mabisyo, I only have three pairs of shoes. Well, let's see how this 'financial freedom' can lead me.
5. Kung puwede lang kasuhan ang gobyerno ng damages for mental stress, ginawa ko na. Sabi ko iwas na lang muna ako sa mga political news kase palpak talaga ang gobyerno na ito. Mas lalo pa akong naeestress kong nalalaman ko na minority lang ako at marami pa ring naniniwala sa current administration. Naka ilang !@#$&* na yata ako and the most unfortunate part is I cannot even express it outright and sometimes I find myself all alone eating all this bullshit.
Mahal ko ang bansa ko that is for sure and I will not trade it for anything else even for citizenship. Gusto ko lang naman maexperience ko ang mala bullet train to Bicol. Kung puwede lang sana in my lifetime, matawag at mabrag ko ang Pilipinas na 'developed country'. Pero di ko alam kung bakit feeling ko ako lang yata ang nagaaspire nito. Good Lord, what have we become as a country? Di ko maiwasan ang magbasa sa mga balita but again I will lessen my exposure.
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