In the next 18 months.

1. Your past card is a positive card, Nine of Pentacles. You could do anything you wanted. The card was sensing you wanted to relax, you needed to enjoy life. You feel accomplished but you know you are not stopping. You just want to reap the fruits and you just need for some pause. 

2.  Your present card is The Lovers. You are a hopeless romantic. You still wish for someone who is 'sent from heaven' relationship. You can be vulnerable in a romantic relationship because you tend to give it all but your effort needs to be reciprocated. It is almost impossible to find this person. But you feel it is just fine. You are ok to be alone. Your tarot card says you need to be someone you are really in love with and definitely not for the convenience. 

3.  The Queen of Cups is the active part of the cards. This is your conscious/subconscious card. She feels driven. She sees many possibilities. She is emotional and creative. She can control the different emotions around her. She is not afraid to feel the emotions but she also knows that emotions are perceptions and they have limits. It is high time to recollect past experiences which will help you move forward. It is also high time to generate wisdom out from  your past experiences. 

4. The Death Card is what surrounds the environment. 'Well, literally, there are just too many deaths around us because of covid.'  The Death card means you are in a transition into new phase. How do you want to start your transition? How do you want to enjoy and brave the changes at the same time? Expect that there will be changes and the only thing that you can do is be prepared for changes. Nothing is set in stone. Be lenient to the changes around you. 

5. The Nine of Swords card reflects that there is worry that different past emotions maybe dragged into the future.  You may be overwhelmed by these emotions but remember they are all in the mind. Remember, you will manage all of them because you have the Queen of Cups. Your motivation is not to repeat the same mistakes again, to regress to the old conditions. Foster positive thinking. Think about the law of attraction, the law of manifestation. It can very well provide you the tools. 

6.  The Future Card is Eight of Cups. This is a strong card about moving forward. There is a strong willingness to turn back completely from the old habits, old feelings, and things, people, and values that have not just been working out for you. Of course, uncertainties still persist but do not get frustrated because they are not your control. You will know when to walk away from those things that are not serving you. 

7. The Two of Pentacles is the Balancing Act card. You balance the emotions. You bring out the goals, priorities, new desires and there is something that you can look forward to despite the uncertainties and transitions. Balancing Act means being reasonable and fulfilling at the same time. Focus on the future. Redirect your energy on the future, the whole card spread tells you. The universe has many opportunities for you but the main challenge is how will you be able to handle these opportunities. My advice is bring out the positive message. Never let go of your enthusiasm. But again, do not prolong your enjoyment because you have many things to deal with. 

8. The moon's first advice is to Meditate and Contemplate. The second moon advice is Confidence is the Key to Success. 

It has been my second tarot reading for this year. This one is more comprehensive (the Horseshoe Spread) than the first one I had in late July. I take comfort from the tarot reading. It gives you the perspectives. But again taking account the star reader Zenaida Seva, 'Hindi hawak ng mga bituin ang ating kapalaran. Gabay lamang sila. Meron tayong free will. Gamitin natin ito'. Lol. 

One of my key takeaways is there are many emotional cards in this reading. I guess if you are entering midlife, there are so many intense emotions that you deal with. Emotions that motivate you. Emotions that magnify you. Emotions that make you feel uncertain. Emotions that make you feel more committed and certain. I am fine with them but sometimes, they do feel overbearing. I feel human and I get by. My current concern now, to be honest, is how to create outlets. I need creative channels and hindi naman ako nag graduate sa Arts and Letters na basta basta na lang. I mean, Arts and Creatives are among my core foundations and I must admit I have lost them somewhere. Time to reclaim them.  

I do not know what happens in the next 18 months really. But what I hope is we all get vaccinated so I can visit my family and friends and make up for the lost time.