I have long forgiven them. For my peace of mind. Besides, I let Universe do it for me. It does not really matter to me anymore. Of course, sometimes, the pain still lingers. Late this week, it was triggered again. I cannot help it since part of my work is still dealing with them.
I cannot help but think they do not treat me seriously nor a priority. I do not know if it is affirmation from my part. But here came the past reminiscent. Here came the moments when I needed to play second fiddle for them. Or here came the feeling that probably they were treating me like a joke. Many times, I did not do something about it when I was with them. I was never confrontational in the strictest sense of the word.
It was ridiculous from my part. It was privileging at least. I have basis but it has been all under my impression. It made me drained just the thought of it. I thought I had moved on from this.
They say success is the sweetest revenge. I can only rechannel all of this into a more positive action, hoping it will insulate me from the memories of people who in more ways had bothered me. I do not need to prove anything for them.
I feel there is no even point in trying. It is a waste of time. I just simply move on. It is inevitable for me to acquiant with them every once in a while. And it is enough.
But I feel it takes time for me to further realize that simply this habit of recalling moments with not so good people can only be helpful to remind you to a certain limit and other than that, it should only help you grow. As I close my eyes, I can only hope that someday, I will be just humming Joey Albert's 'I Remember the Boy, But I Don't Remember The Feeling', much more with feelings.