Muni Munis of the Day

Hello there. I have not written any for these past months. Work and 'others' have piled up lately. When I say 'others' - these maybe academic stuff, catchup with friends, familial obligations - they have been tucked into a bundle of demands lately. But no regrets. Though sometimes I get too physically tired but they are all worth it. All I pray for is unyielding energy and inspiration to keep me going.

The reason why I write to you is of course, I have to pay debts to you - I need to write. I need to fill you up. Probably the best way is to enumerate it to you. A run down of My Munis Munis of the day.

1. Super typhoon Yolanda swept us off our feet. There is a national massive relief operation especially in Tacloban, the city that was hit the hardest. Depressing news are filling up the pages every day. Everybody is helping in their own meaningful ways. Bayanihan spirit is very alive. But Everybody is also saying just about anything. About the way government operates its state relief, about the reported looting and rape, about Anderson and Korina Sanchez. This is but democracy at work, if there is something very basic about this. But I hope these do not hamper the relief to get to where it needs the most.

2.  So, a new semester has arrived. And I enrolled in the class of my current thesis adviser. Double purpose that is, to get me reminded that every once a week I need to work on my thesis. Again, I am feeling a whole new pressure. There seems to be an unending way of dealing with this. I mean, I do not know where is the finish line?! Here we go again. The jitters. The things that sometime shaken one's faith. Interestingly, one of the highlights of the first meeting is about time management as some students express the seemingly big demand of the course. Our professor has rendered a lot of insights on this matter, about having the need to divide time, to be accountable, to enjoy the moment, to be respectful of other's time as well. She has somehow let us feel that all we need is commitment and everything will follow.

3. Which leads me to time management. Until now, I still juggle with that idea. The funny thing is I cannot work under a sort of structure. It constrains me. Every time I start feeling like 'scheduling' my life, I feel like I am breaking down as soon as I decide to. Of course, I keep a general schedule but I cannot imagine myself acting like a factory worker whose time is very calculated, regulated. Time is social construction anyway. But ultimately, in the end, there has always been that struggle to balance. So far, it is working for me.

4.  'Yolanda' came into my life a night before the actual typhoon wrecked Leyte-Samar area. Yolanda, the new acquired laptop, has been quite serving me well. There is a new promise. A new inspiration, if that can suffice enough. And a new sense of accountability to 'use' it until the last drop. You see, I get excited on the idea na niluluma mo ang gamit. Like a crumpled notebook, or a torn wallet, or a pair of shoe. I feel accomplished if I get to witness my things get old. That means I have been using it and it is serving its purpose. The sentimental value can be quite high. Yolanda, journey with me please. We are going to sparkle the whole town.

5. Journey. I take chances. The reason why I bought Yolanda was I took a chance. I hope to succeed. I am ready to be interrupted. But sometimes, this feeling of need can become so overwhelming. Soothing music may not help. But Writing about it contains the outpouring. Rekindling writing to contain the writing. It seems the other way around. Maybe. But writing is afraid is the only thing I know.

Hold on (A Repost)

I remember when I was writing my undergrad thesis, It was a career. I exerted a lot of effort for it. And since it was about community journalism and development communications, I went as far as University of the Philippines Los Banos to do some library work where some of the early studies began. Also, I went to great strides in interviewing community newspaper publishers in Naga City. Kulang na lang naka feather boas ako habang ginagawa ko yun. I enjoyed it thoroughly. I felt I was contributing something. And for the bonus part, I got a perfect score for my thesis grade. 
And then I found Gelia Castillo in the course of my readings. I learned that Gelia Castillo was the grand dame of Philippine sociology. I suddenly felt connected to her. I did not know why. I began to search her biography and her credentials. All I could think was I wanted to be like her. How first impression sometimes last. I began to contemplate that my greatest dream is to become a social scientist, a sociologist!  to be like her! Walang awat! And I asked Divine to help me become one. 
I still hold on that dream. I may be in a divergent track (because she is engaged in development work anyway) but whenever I lose steam or doubt in my career, sometimes, subconsciously she just appears to my mind, like now. I begin to feel a sense of awe. Not foolish, not disillusionment, but the sense of wander. We all need that Wanderlust. 


It was effervescence. I was simply a student but very much inspired that I was contemplating as a hardcore researcher after graduation. 

Time passed and I had a chance to meet her during a conference. But I did not get to talk to her. I was this shy boy who just looked at her, mesmerized by her. She talked about the need to publish scientific papers. She was being assisted because she was also old already. She was very humble. I just kept listening to her. I am that type of person who does not want to know my idols personally or to engage them too much because it may destroy some sort of mysticism. Every once in a while, I just go to Youtube or any website and read whatever is there about her. 

I believe the Divine has laid down every path imaginable for me to be like her. I engage in development work and with local communities and I am positioned to be in something of influence and to make a change, small change at a time. I feel guilty because I sometimes waste this opportunity. And whenever I recall these moments, I cannot ask for much. Because everything is settled. What I asked Divine gave me. I am but humbled. There is always a new found purpose. All I need is to grow.