Oct 15, 2016

Feels of the Fall

Hello, Kamusta ka na? Ano na ang mga hanash bukod sa trabaho?

Heto, galing ako kasal ni Yuna, friend of a friend. I thought traditional Korean wedding siya so I was looking forward to it but then it turned out to be a Korean Christian wedding. It turned out to be a simple ceremony. Well, there was the buffet and the food was good. So, nakailang balik din ako sa spaghetti alio e oilo and persimmon juice. Anyhow, siyempre medyo busy si Yuna. For sure, there will be a chance to catch up when everything settles. During the reception, I could not help but think about our own Filipino-style wedding ceremony. I have the impression that we can be more elaborate, if not, more fun even if we say it can be just a simple wedding.

Umuwi ng Ever Loyal City of Affection Manila for an official business at nagextend na din for vacay. Thankful naman ako kase narecharge naman. Umuwi ng bahay sa Bicol, binisita ang bago kong pamangkin. Chumika sa mga kapatid at kay mudra. Made several catch up with 'super' friends. Well, it was refreshing. I felt a bit gloom paguwi ko dito sa Seoul, as usual, but I noticed it was less gloomy than I had my first. And then back to normal. Maybe for a fact na uuwi na naman ako this November since we will be having the conference there. I plan to extend for few days ulit since I won't be there during the holidays. Anyhows, medyo magastos nga lang since I do not have a house to stay in Manila where all of my friends live. Needed to check-in the hotel. Next time, I will try to spend wisely. But it was all worth it.

Well, back to the drawing board naman ako. I mean, nagplaplano kung ano ang mga short to medium term goals. Ilagay sa organizer ang mga Must Do's. Kahit minsan hindi natutupad. Ganern. Bumabalik sa isipan at puso ko yung feels na heto na naman, ang dami na namang gustong gawin! Ayoko na sana magexpect pero fired up na naman ako. Fired up to just do the things that make me feel happy! Can I still do it, once more with feelings? Can I Begin Again? Enter Keira Knightley. Naisip ko lang din same time next year, I maybe packing up my stuff na. Malay mo. But my point is ang bilis ng oras. Why waste it?

In one of our latest sesh, my daughter Irene told me she was a bit concern as to how have I been spending my social life in this city. Knowing when I was still in Manila, I used to have lots of hanash with friends. And I got plucked out and planted somewhere where everything was new.

To be fair, it was a bit difficult. But I guess I am a natural loner so it was manageable. I still had many things done in Manila all by myself. Here in Seoul, during my low moments, when all my friends seem distant, that's where I tend to just try to go to nice touristy places. That was at least during the first few months. But it won't take long since I met Filipino friends along the way and my weekends seem to be busy and my colleages in the office also make sure we get to catch up at least a month.

But somehow, there is still that moment- forgive me - when I feel I need 'realness'. Perhaps that's the problem. I still consider this all transience. Minsan naguguilty ako sa thought na aalis lang naman ako dito. Minsan, iniisip ko, So what? Just enjoy the company while it lasts. Minsan, hindi rin, matanda na ako for that. I'd only go for keeps. However, I just feel good that there's a company waiting back home.

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