Taste. Motion. A Student of Society. And Up Close And Personal.
East View from Pasig City Hall. Copyright Photo. 2013
Limitation. We all have it. We need to recognise our limitation in order to know ourselves more. Say, up to what extent is forgivable? Up to what limit is your patience? Unfortunately or fortunately, limitation is anchored on experience. We cannot say we are limited on such until we experience the kind of test to our beliefs, to our system, to our values, to our character. We know the limits of our values only when they are under circumstances. It is derived from some text book. I learned a certain kind of limitation today. It is a humbling experience. I went home pondering what if my circumstances would be simpler. I have to let it go because this was way below my expectations. I felt frustrated at first because I thought it was the answer. But the bigger picture tells me I have become the bigger picture now. Timing was not ripe. I was hoping for some middle ground. But you see, there will always be reasons after reasons. And funny thing is I stopped thinking. Because I recognize the essense of being limited. Being Constraint. Then Mariah Carey saved a song for me, 'As I closed my eyes, steadied my feet on the ground, raised through the sky and though times rolled by, still I feel like a child as I look at the moon. Maybe I grew up a little too soon.' A day is enough and an entry on this blog can suffice. And back to the regular programming still. Tomorrow is another day.
Few days left of 2017. Where have all the time gone? Since I have a rather forgetful memory, I look back at my Instagram and rekindle the fondest of them all in 2017.
1. Food poison. Never thought there could be worse. I had to bring myself into the hospital at 3 am. Due to language ineptness, para tuloy akong naging hayop as they were figuring out what was wrong. Yes, language goes a long way but I never took much interest. Dami kong opportunity to learn before but I just could not feel it. Why push? So when during emergency situation, it could even be stressful and you could really become second best to being a monkey.
Lesson Learned: Don't prepare your food if you are as lousy as me. And as after effect, I make sure I check the expiration date in the label.
2. Japan. I travelled Japan twice this year and fell in love with everything Japanese again. All the more that I need to come back and stay a little bit longer next time. I always feel the 'wanderlust' if I spend ti…
What if I do not live up to my own expectations, like what if I decide to just throw away my dream of being sociologist, and just be content as being an employee, rank and file? Not completing my long overdue graduate studies or perhaps enroll again and try and try, never mind I spend money, until I complete one? What if all this time of working out my career, there is nothing more to push for? What if I let it go and just rely on the faith and goodness of people who can help me get career breaks? Is this enough?
What if I have a good boss whom I can stick to for the rest of my life? What if I cannot find one? Or is it just me who keeps on imposing these standards to myself? What exactly do I mean when I say good boss? What if I have a good boss?
What if I stop wondering, searching for bigger things, bigger …
I have had fair share of rejection. It was tough and I felt it was mostly unfair. I could not complain and I could not do anything about it anymore. Looking back, there were times when you felt overwhelmed by biases of some people on you. Simply put, they just do not believe in you. Or if they do, it is a matter of interest for them. Sometimes, it makes me think, Kamusta na kaya sila? How have they been? Those who had refused to listen to me, refused to accomodate me, or simply, who did not believe in me - at varying level of degrees.
I have long forgiven them. For my peace of mind. Besides, I let Universe do it for me. It does not really matter to me anymore. Of course, sometimes, the pain still lingers. Late this week, it was triggered again. I cannot help it since part of my work is still dealing with them.
I cannot help but think they do not treat me seriously nor a priority. I do not know if it is affirmation from my part. But here came the past reminiscent. Here came the momen…