Makes Me Happy

Focus muna tayo sa mga Masasayang Bagay. What makes me happy lately? Well, some things can be happily fleeting but they can help you get by kumbaga.

1. I don't know I have this preoccupation to Pinterest lately. It is this big catalog na napakavisual niya. Hindi ko naman siya kinakareer at lalong hindi naman ako naprepressure but you can get lots of ideas and sometimes that's just what you need. Surprisingly, I find browsing Pinterest relaxing. And the best time is Sunday morning where I will get all the quotes I like! Oh well, let's see in the next few days. But I realize that's the strength of Pinterest, yung hindi ka niya ino-oblige. Pin ka lang ng pin. Like and Pin ang peg. And when you go back to your pins, it's almost your visualization of the self. Pero ano bang meron sa Pinterest account ko eh puro quotes lang naman. Pero Ok na rin. 

2. Tennis. Grabe. Achieve ang second straight Saturdays na pagpapalo. Except this Saturday for an office overtime. Pero ibang feel ang nararamdaman pag pumapalo ka ng bola. Ibang feel ang feeling when you're sweating it out. At ibang feel rin pag nagpapalpitate ka na. You feel something's wrong. Shit. Then after few minutes of rest. Palo ulit. Habol galore. And then lalamon after with my best gal Gengkukay. Sana man lang mag burn ng fats pero mukhang nababawi lang sa lamon. Char. Pero kebs na rin. Then your body aches. Kebs na rin. The most important thing is you'll be able to sweat it all out and you are improving and self-affirming, like maganda talaga ang serve ko to be fair. Char. 

3.  Little steps toward my paper. Mahirap. Minsan nakakalungkot. Minsan nag da doubt ka talaga. What keeps me going on? I am determined naman eh pero I  really need that space. Just like what that quote above said. Marami akong nakikitang rants sa Facebook about having difficulty finishing their thesis but they just can't. Of course they can, they can't just find the fucking time! And it's like Me. I can't leave my work because I need it, i'll be left out, it's my fucking bread and butter, it's my source of But soonest, I need to decide and not just decide but decide strategically. I am praying for signs but the signs are not appearing. On a lighter, maybe a Page-a-Day can help. That is why little steps do matter a lot. 

4. Wine. Yung idea lang ng may iniinom ka to cap off your day. Yung idea lang habang nag aaral ka, nagbabasa ka with wine. I believe sapat na rin yun. Hindi naman lagok factor. Konting Paandar lang. Malay ko ba kung ano ano ang red wine. Alam ko lang grapes siya and the more it ferments, the more chances of winning (the higher the price), char. Pero kung nanaisin ko naman magpaka competent in that category, we can get there. Pero as for now, masarap siya and it's a good and healthy substitute for coffee, feeling ko. 

5. Tuloy Tuloy na Chikahan. Ewan ko ba. Parang bumabaliktad ang mga schedules ko lately. Fully booked ako ng weekends since January. Buti na lang nakakasingit ako ng Me time pag weekdays. Ang definition ko ng Me Time ngayon is that Time I arrive in our apartment from office until my youngest sister arrives. Solo ko ang apartment and I love the energy of silence. I have been accustomed to this silence din kumbaga. As for chikahan with my friendships, walang humpay. Sige lang, push lang ng push. Dinner, Lait. Kape. Chika. Dinner. Lait. Kape. Chika. That's all there is to Stay. 

Try has a new deadline

Promise Me. 

You will prevail because you hold on to the Truth. The Truth will set you free. What is truth. Truth is Love. Truth is Hope. Truth is Patient. 

Choose. It is the hardest obstacle that you will always overcome from time to time, one choice to another. May you choose and persevere. May you choose in the brightest of morning, in the clearest of water. 

Prepare. Life is full of suprises. Happy, Sad, either or. Prepare with a good disposition. Prepare but not to be burdened. Enjoy the art of preparation. Do not Overprepare. Do not prepare for preparation's sake. 

Do not be sad when you are out of options even it is your heart's desire. Do not settle for less. Be happy to unsettle but do not hurt people. Try and if not after some tries, take some rest. Acceptance will be due in the right time. Prepare To Try. If it's meant for you, it will be meant for you. If it is not, how will you know if you do not try. 

Risk. It comes with the price. Spread your risk. Enjoy the risk. Risk only a portion. Guard your risk. Be Happy. Sacrifice whatever the outcome. Risk is a product of reflection. Risk is anticipation. Risk not afraid.

 

The Galloping Year

It will be the Galloping year of the Emerald Wooden Horse. The Chinese New Year has started. And not too late to review and revise my 2014 New Year's Resolutions. I have made some and I am keeping it by heart. But in between, there are equally important things that I need to do and these may well affect the process of fulfilling my accomplishments. Believe me, they do. 

So, late last night - Chinese New Year's Eve - to my mind, I added some resolutions into my current list. These may seem trivial to some.

1. Sleep. It has been a luxury for me these days to get a full eight-hour sleep. I know I will have lots of sleep when I'm dead! But I need to sleep at least 7-8 hours. Simply because it pays to have a good sleep. I believe it enhances your mood the next day and ultimately, your day's outlook like the way you will manage stress, your ability to be flexible, the probability to accomplish the day's work. I always believe those cranky people around have some of the greatest sleep deprivation. You can't make bawi sleep to be fair. I mean if you have a good sleep, you are most likely to end the next day fulfilled and feeling fine. I will sleep at least a minimum of 7-8 hours at least on most weekdays. 

2. Moisturize. Need I say more. I feel complete when I put moisturizer on my face at least as a morning regimen. A great substitute for a face powder. I realized this must be one of my developed habits. Celeteque is hiyang and it is my all-time favorite. I may also have to try (experiment) some  moisturizers in the market. I feel I am missing out some. Along with it comes the updating of my kikay kit. I notice my kit is not kikay enough but I hate too many stuff in it. So, I need to appreciate the balance and of course, the star of the kit is my moisturizer.

3. I miss my Creative Spirit. I need to wake up my Muse. I have had the great potential to be a creative artist (sabay tumbling). Seriously, I just miss being in the creative side of things. It pays to have an outlet. It pays to have a space. It pays to Create and Share your creations! Maybe a tryout in a pottery workshop or a visit to Angono, the Arts Capital of the Philippines, which happens to be just 10 pesos away from here on a public jeepney. Watching theater plays is a staple. Or going to museums or any travel destinations. Or updating my playlist. There is going to be a lot on these for this year and I will write something about these adventures. 

4. Fitness alternatives. This has been the hardest one to start. I am not a fan of gym but I love aerobics (this is so 80s) and dancing.  I love to jog but I do not need to travel to the next city just to jog. My neighborhood is not even conducive. A little voice has been constantly saying, 'try, try, try.' Enough said. I may just have to observe my diet and increase my 'walking' time as one of the many alternatives. Or playing tennis! I love the idea of feeling your sweat trickling down on your eyebrows and your pores are secreting toxins. I love the idea of a hot bath after a workout. I love the quality of sleep after a workout. 'Try, try, try'

5. I need to Write More. Funny but this process has been extraordinarily bittersweet for me. First, the habits of practice must be improved. And the exercise must be recognized in some form. And I must get published. I must be in the Writing Circle once more, however this means. I must be an opportunist. The patience is immense. The persistence I must enjoy. I need to improve this craft and the only way is to write and read more. I should write in crystal clear form.  I should provoke and challenge assumptions. I should write publishable materials. I like the feeling of being lost in the writing and editing process. I miss the bliss. I had too many during college and early professional years. That Self searching for words and materials in a dim forest. And if you build a castle, all the birds a chirping and all the people shall come.

Keep Calm.

It is not even yet Christmas and but can't help to wait for the next year. Kind of preoccupied lately in recalling my 2013 and I have been sharing my insights to some of my close friends. I have never felt this way before. The kind of intensity to look back what transpired this year. Definitely, every year should have made an impact on your life. But this one has probably one of the more meaningful and decisive years. I have never been grateful in the first place but I cannot call for celebration. I always tell myself the year has been lukewarm for me. It is the kind of year that you breeze through and nothing much happened. But still a lot happened: 

1. My Academic debut. I know it is going to be a long way winding road but I love sociology and all the more I love the discipline that it fosters. I have made close acquaintance with a group that shares our love for sociology. I am grateful for our mentors who believe in us in more ways. We participated in an annual conference and we joined in the Pride March. Along the way, we introduce ourselves as a group, committed to bringing sociology at a higher level, and even though there is no formality, we are making inroads. Everybody contributes and shares. It is but normal that there are bumps along the road. I am thankful that we have overcome it before this year ends; 

2. I committed to Write Again. But this one has a rough start. Some opportunities were missed. Persistence follows. I have no excuse for 2014. Writing in most ways. Writing that should be publishable with my name on it. It's every writer's fancy dream and I still feel it. One side is telling, you can always self-publish. But it pays to be published anchored on some standards. But all the more I am committed. No commitment in 2014 but an action plan; 

3. Our first official family annual summer getaway. I usually play the Grinch in this kind of gathering but I was converted. Caramoan was bliss. This year and for more years to follow, I will play as the 'event organizer' and I am somehow excited in reprising this role;

4. Spent best bonding moments with friends. I love it when best of friends 'sustain' their friendship like trying to find ways to meet at least a month then really just enjoying life's full blessings. I have never been more grateful. Fortunately, my friends are my saving grace from all life's inconsistencies.  And a bonus, one of my lost long best friend, Ge, suddenly appeared! I know he has always been accessible but this year, we felt we needed to see each other. often. There are just some friendships written in the stars (char).  I am glad that we are catching up. 

I thank 2013. Heartfelt. And Yes, Full of Promise. But Relatively Calm. Was it the Calm before a Storm? A Perfect Storm (in a positive note) for a Perfect Year, Next Year.  I hope so. 

 

Limitation

East View from Pasig City Hall. Copyright Photo. 2013

Limitation. We all have it. We need to recognise our limitation in order to know ourselves more. Say, up to what extent is forgivable? Up to what limit is your patience? Unfortunately or fortunately,  limitation is anchored on experience. We cannot say we are limited on such until we experience the kind of test to our beliefs, to our system, to our values, to our character. We know the limits of our values only when they are under circumstances. It is derived from some text book. I learned a certain kind of limitation today. It is a humbling experience. I went home pondering what if my circumstances would be simpler. I have to let it go because this was way below my expectations. I felt frustrated at first because I thought it was the answer. But the bigger picture tells me I have become the bigger picture now. Timing was not ripe. I was hoping for some middle ground. But you see, there will always be reasons after reasons. And funny thing is I stopped thinking. Because I recognize the essense of being limited. Being Constraint. Then Mariah Carey saved a song for me, 'As I closed my eyes, steadied my feet on the ground, raised through the sky and though times rolled by, still I feel like a child as I look at the moon. Maybe I grew up a little too soon.' A day is enough and an entry on this blog can suffice. And back to the regular programming still. Tomorrow is another day.