What I Miss

1. Yung kumain ng masasarap na pagkain. Though relative naman ito. Hindi naman ibig sabihin masarap, expensive. Hindi naman ibig sabihin masarap, 'steak' agad. Pupunta ako sa Ma Mon Luk one of these days. Yung seafood in a bag sa Choobi Choobi, tama lang yung lasa. Yung mga lechon sa Cebu. Basta any lechon na galing doon. Hindi ko pa nga nalilibot ang Poblacion eh. I have not even gone to Legazpi and Salcedo markets on a Sunday! Bakit? Wala akong kasama eh! Ok lang kumain magisa, that is depende sa restoran na kakainin mo, eh ayoko naman mag barbecue sa Korean resto mag isa no! Yung isang bff ko sana na in five minutes puwede na kaming magkita, di ko alam, pag nagsasagest akong kumain at itry this and that, say sa Poblacion, na walking distance na nga lang eh, mas mabilis pa sa alas kuatro ang pagkulot ng mukha. Sino naman ang gaganahan doong magyaya! Ano, sa 7-11 na lang?

2. I miss travelling to the countryside. Yung amoy ng kape in the morning, amoy ng dagat, amoy ng mga dahon. Amoy ng mga palengke, amoy ng alikabok. Amoy ng mga tao, mga real people. Char. I miss travelling na rin with my friends. Namiss ko na rin magbonding. Natratrauma na kase ako sa mga yayaan. Hindi naman natutuloy. Ayoko na rin nga mga nagtratravel kasama mga friends ko, bumibig reveal ang iba nilang mga personality! Test of friendship to end of friendship minsan. Kaya mas gusto ko na lang yung mga palabas labas. Pa dine, dine. Pa nood nood ng movie, theater ganern. Kaso, siyempre iba pa rin yung travel with the ones you love.

3. I miss writing. The writing that excites. The writing that exposes my flaws. A writing that demands yet celebrates. The writing that interrogates the soul. I must say I have the tools but I have never made them work for me. Every once in a while, this cry calls you. It calls out piercely just when everything seems ok, when everything seems stable for now. Oh how this cry can be so persistent. It has been ages. This calling. Is it? Paulit ulit na lang. Hanapin ko ulit. Pa ulit ulit. Ganoon na lang. Ulit ulit hanggang sa mahanap ko siya.

4. I miss beautiful conversations, intellectual conversations. I miss being with like-minded people. I miss being part of a bigger movement, bigger project. Wait, am i already part of it with my work? Siguro hinahanap ko lang naman is the informal part. Or I'd love to be in the conversations that brainstorm and test ideas. I don't know. Kulang ako doon. Baka maghanap na lang ako ng mga volunteer organizations, opportunity for fellowship that can help refine my skills, look for more people to engage with, malay mo may jowa factor. Within my line of work, experience is premium. So, how do you refine your experience? By practice, by being exposed, by being grounded, being seen perhaps, being innovative, being gritty, being kind.

Anyhows, With all that I miss, I will just need to work all of these out.